Monday, 24 March 2008

Trippy posts

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

I went to Church, ain’t I great? Hopefully doing that may fool any unfortunate stumbling across this blog that I am a decent God-fearing person. It is a pity all my actions in life cannot be that of a Christian but hey ho, you can only have style, substance or neither. Guess which I have?

I must remember to mention children and whiteness in my post. They are symbols of innocence you know, like meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.


Bit of scripture here as it makes me look scholarly and holy. Apparently God loves a repentant sinner. Wonder where I can find one of those to sacrifice to him on a flaming pyre of harassment?

I am suffering from the twin encumbrances of a partially broken toe-nail and weak lifeless hair. I never talk about it you know.

On the last occasion of the last trail against me for harassment, I was unable to attend. This due to being diagnosed morally lacking by a bone doctor. Yes, you read it here, a bone doctor and I hope you are not pulling the same face of incredulous belief that the judge pulled that time as well. This time I may claim I cannot attend due to back acne or an itchy palm. So many body parts, so many excuses. On the other hand I may rely on the old excuse of being knackered, you will notice I am mentioning more and more that I am whacked in my blog. That is called 'laying the groundwork' and my blog is my defence.

Oh oh, clever clever me, no-one will ever see through this ruse. Hee hee hee.

However this will not stop me sockpuppeting as much as possible.

Meanwhile read here, as the adoration blog has pointed out some of my endearing spellerisms (girlish giggle) I have corrected them. But really, spelling is for plebs and English teachers.

I am going to publish Children’s books. That is as soon as I have destroyed my arch-nemesis the wicked witch of the North and her cohort, the webbed man. They have sent flying monkeys after me, this evil band consists of the mob of lawyers, doctors, the met, special branch, special trees, special gardeners, the media, men from Oxo-land, women from Loon Loon land, bloggers, poets, the RCJ, the whole of Cambridge, journalists, gap-year students, all the staff of DKNY, a burren of foxes, Sharon Stone, Clint Eastwood and The Eagles and a whole other cast of thousands on the internet who are all out to get me.

That will be the tale in the first book, a sort of a Harry Potter cum Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz cum Pied Piper cum Buck Rogers cum drunken ravings of the village lush outside the local at Midnight.

Pssssst: Did you know that all commentators are unemployed? I devote HOURS reading the adoration site that has been set up for me so guess how unemployable I am? Girlish grin.

Of course, it is utterly incomprehensible to me that some people work with computers and devote 10 minutes of an otherwise busy day to reading blogs. Apparantly these people devote the rest of their hours to gainful employment, children, a partner, supporting worthy causes, looking out for the welfare of people other than themselves and paying bills. Ordinary common little caterpillars. I shudder at the thought of them.

Newspell: Tipytoed, optimistic, abit

Remember, all you need is love!