Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Mine, all mine!

Here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Just stopping by to wish everyone many very happy returns of my day, March the third. Because this day is mine. I bought and didn’t pay for it in a 2 for 1 deal with some gardeners in Oxo-land.
(Ed. no. 347 – Atta girl, way to go on spotting how to get something for nothing)

Quiet celebrations, I think. I am very weak, but amazingly have enough stamina to log onto the internet for hours at at time up to three times a day. I think I shall be way too fragile for anything requiring my time and effort… about May time.
(Ed. no. 5672 – Oh you poor soul, can I hold your delicate digits and tell you about the type of laydee I think you are?)

...thanking people for the birthday messages that seem to be coming from all sorts of remote Internet sources because these are the only sort of messages that count. Well-wishes from real people are for those common sorts who live in the (shudder) real world.
(Ed. no 234 – My love, my love, I exist on the internet, look to me for what is real!!) (Ed.no. 2361 – Don’t look at him, he is mad as a box of squished snakes and he talks to himself, love me jfl!!)

Some of these facilities I never knew existed. You'd think there was a war on. :-)
If I don’t know something exists, such as a time-travelling sat nav that can hop tardis-like to 10 years before its own invention, take control of a car and drive it into a tunnel wall, that means something very extreme must be going on. I know what I am talking about you know.
(Ed.no. 775 – OF COURSE you do, our love, of course YOU do …. Erm….)

LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK. Another blogger I have not publically fallen out with. She never calls, she never writes and I may have gotten away with the fact I am a convicted stalker without her noticing. All this despite her having one of those awful common tarty book-deals which demean bloggers but which I would give my looks for.
(Ed. no. 3485 – you mustn’t be after a terribly big book deal jfl if you are only willing to offer your looks in exchange. Offer something better like your integrity and your intelligence. Oh.. yes, you’re right, best stick to offering up your looks then)

Remember, all you need is love!