Thursday, 13 March 2008

God, I've had an idea

Here is what the angel-hellic one really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

I have a new line on my defence. Some random loon (of the religious kind) has been sending me messages via a tardis-like time travelling sat nav device which can take control of cars. This gave me an idea.

I have a new defense for when I go into court, I am going to say it is not me that got myself into this situation by spending more time stalking and stealing rather than working, it was God who has brought all this about. It is because he loves me and he wants to make me strong.

I, really, believe, that. (Snigger)

It will blow the prosecution away when I mention my new bezzie mate God in court. Who cares if I am telling the truth or not? Just call me Hamlet!

Here is photographic proof of my close working relationship with God

Note to self: In the meantime, I had better keep mentioning my partially broken toe-nails and my weak lifeless hair. I may yet decide that I do not want to turn up in court at all. After all, courts are full of people who work for the (choke) law. Discusting common little caterpillars.

I wonder if my coiffeuse would agree to give me a sick note? The court refused to accept the one from the bone doctor but they might be fooled by this one. After all, everyone knows that a mobile hairdresser can diagnose stress and exhaustion as well as a psychologist can help someone needing psychiatric care.

Remember, all you need is love!