Sunday, 27 April 2008

A mark in the sand

One night I dreamed I was stalking along the internet with the Broad(band).
Many scenes from my harassing flashed across the charges sheet.
in each scene I noticed things got out of hand.
Sometimes there were two sets of victims,
other times there were up to nine sets of victims.

It bothered me when I noticed
that during the low periods of my harassing,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could not see one set of victims.

So I said to the Broad(band),
"You promised me Broad(band),
that if I subscribed to you,
you would connect me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my harassing
there have been no
set of victims. Things got out of hand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been connected for me?"

The Broad(band) replied,
"The times when you have
seen no set of victims is just after things got out of hand,
that is when I helped convict you."

Remember, all you need is love!


Now the cast of the Blairwitchproject are out to get me!

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

The Blairwithchproject blog, who have the audacity to get more reads than me, really pee me off! They are all aggressive Harry Enfield fans by their own admission. Now, worst sin of all, they DARE have an opinion on something which I am frighteningly ignorant about. The Wicked witch of the North also agrees with them on this subject so that just proves they are wrong.


What business is it of The Blairwithchproject blog if some nice man wants to go about denying the mass murder of millions of people?

Gah, I'll even bet The Blairwithchproject blog are the sort of social conscience busybodies who demand that stalkers, libellers, those who intimidate people, those who harass people, those who have been bombarding people with phone calls and emails are actually jailed for their behavior.

No-one should speak up to say the holocaust really happened except those who were there.

I have spoken, let that be the end of the matter.

You little people are so lucky to have me to tell you the right path to take in making decisions on issues such as rape, good parenting and the holocaust.

We celebrity Mums must stick together you know. ** Girlish wink ** I know ALL the good celeb Mums read here, like the Sims2 mother who laughs at her neglected children, Betty Davis, Kerry Katona, Frances Shand Kydd, Debbie Renyolds, Rose West, Enid Blyton, Britney Spears and Joan Crawford. They have to in order to know how to handle their erring offspring within the guidance of the high unorthodox church of LFJ.

I am the high-priestess of the cult of Perfect Mummyhood.

If Miss Oddbin's Mother should read here, my advice to you is to deny the holocaust, never educate your children about the evil that men and women can do. Never teach them that those who know the mistakes of the past are doomed to repeat them.

Let them think they can march like Hitler into the colds of the Russian Winter and succeed in their determination to impose their own will on all before them without recompense. There was a man who didn't pay attention in his history class. Perhaps if he had and perhaps if the allies had stood up to him when he ignored the Treaty of Locarno and marched into the Rhine towns of the post WW1 neutral zone, there would have been no second world war.

But I diverse, all this drawing parallels between enforcing ignorance on children and accepting inhumanity without comment have made me thirsty for some gorgalicious cider

Next thing I know you will all be drawing parallels between Hitler and me but I am much more a Ivana Braun fame fat-tale type character, donchyaknow? (burrrppppp)

Ivana Braun

New speak: self awareness, socalled

Remember, all you need is love!


Friday, 25 April 2008

Some things are beyond satire

Until the present theme of posts change on the stalker site, there will be no responsive posts here.

The bond between Mother and child is something sacred which should be worked out together when it does has to cross over shaky ground. It should not be displayed for entertainment and publicity like a Christian in a Lion's den even.

A councellor is needed to respond to that issue not a satirist.

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

LFJ, you are writing from IP

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Note from ED. no. 1:

In the comments of the last post, the stalker-licious one challenged us to say she was writing from so we have gone one step further and grapped a screenshot of the web-application that the IP of all comments on streamsofuttergoo are monitored from.

Obviously she has no idea what an IP is. For anyone else who doesn't know, your IP is your finger-print on the internet. Wherever you go, you leave it behind you. It makes it very easy to prove where you have been. Like a burgular who commits a robbery without gloves, it is very easy to put a trace to a name once you know how.

As well as an IPs, we also monitor referrals (the link and webpage a reader accesses this site via) This is how we know she uses this IP. The first time she accessed this site was while she was logged into blogger and she came from the IP address

Since then EVERY comment supporting her, saying how good-looking/talented/gifted she is and how crap/jealous/bitter we are has come from this IP except one.

There is no-one publicly supporting her here except herself and even then she only refers to herself in the third person.

It appears that even she is ashamed to admit who she is.

Well LFJ, you wanted us to say your last comment came from that IP, now we have.

This is how often she reads the site:

It has to be said, there are more profitable uses of a person's time.

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Welty head

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

It has taken a whole family of Greek hairdressers to hold me down on the floor but the knots have finally been combed or cut out of my hair.

The state of the barnet was so bad I had to drug myself up with bueatiful cider (belch!) before the ordeal. I was a bit dopey while it was all going on to be honest.

Now I cannot be sure if the hangover or the brassy colour of the results are worse.

I look like one of the stars of 'You've got mail'. What was her name? Oh yes! Brinkley!!

Must dash as I am going to sockpuppet myself to bits with request for a new photo of my shaggy locks.

Remember, all you need is love!


Monday, 14 April 2008


You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

The most important thing to happen in the whole of the world is that two soap characters appeared back on the small screen.

I would like a man like the male character to put up with all my imperfections. However being a convicted stalker, a liar, maligning people , slandering people, intimidating people, harassing people, bombarding people with phone calls and emails generally tends to put men off. Men are so picky!

I wonder if a new hairstyle would get me a man?

Remember, all you need is love!


Friday, 11 April 2008

The self-important nut-case

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Briefly: Everyone is out to get me. Boo hoo. Mentioning that my enemies include the Chief Commissioner will give you an idea of how important and significant I am.

Mentioning the Master of the Rolls, Chancery Lane, and the central Court will tell you further about the epic importance of ONE of the cases against me. I will wilfully ignore the fact that this case came about as a result of me breaking the confidentiality terms of a contract as well as copying and taking private papers away.

Such insignifigent things like proven facts, evidence and the truth are for commoners anyway. When you are are gorgous and fasinating as I am you do not need to stoop to be bothered with them.

My ability to fail to see the truth of any matter except my own gorgeousness and the jealousy harboured by all around me is only superseded by my inability to follow clear signposts.

Did you know that? Now you do. Girlish giggle. I am so sharing of myself and endlessly fascinating.

My present predicament has come about because of a group comprised of .... police squad, the wicked witch of the North, her cohort, the webbed man, ex-lawyers, doctors, the met, special branch, special trees, special gardeners, the media, men from Oxo-land, women from Loon Loon land, bloggers, poets, the RCJ, the whole of Cambridge, Cambridge snail journalists, gap-year students, all the staff of DKNY, a burren of foxes, Sharon Stone, Clint Eastwood, The Eagles, Manchester United football club and the whole other cast of thousands on the internet who are all out to get me are all lying in a giant conspiracy against me. Despite what any conviction and ASBO say they are all making it up and I am the only one telling the truth.

Did you know that? Now you do. Girlish giggle. I am so sharing of myself and endlessly fascinating.

Be careful out there. If you stalk, lie about, malign, slander, intimidate, harass, bombard and generally make a nuisance of yourself to person after person, they might decide enough is enough and have you thrown in jail too!

Remember, all you need is love!


Thursday, 10 April 2008

Predictability is its own reward

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

As predicted, I, the wondrously predictable researcher has predictably fallen out with one of my (pretend) predictable internet mates who predictably never acknowledged my existence.

Predictably, this Littleupstart, who I get to admonish from the lofty moral height of my blog is another blogger. This is a real change in form. It is so unlike predictable me to try to pick a fight with another member of the bloggersphere, who is also a woman, who has a successful home-life and has never looked to me for opinion or guidance. !!)

Imagine, this blogger dared to link to someone that I, the stalkerlicious fruitbat, disapproved of and worst of all she is a successful published Author. These are truly heinous crimes indeed for which she and all others like her (all the other successful hard-working Mothers, wives and daughters of the world) should be thrown in Wormwood scrubs.

Only then will the streets to safe for batty (but predictably reliable) blogstresses such as me to walk.

This blogger has also drawn attention to the fact she was once were unfairly fired. Tsk! Do you think doing something like that will deter other employers from unfairly dismissing people if they think an avalanche of bad publicity will follow? Predictable pleeeeeeeeeeeeese. It is better to be banned from your place of research (Ed. no. 5667 - "cough ckoke") for breaking the confidentiality terms of your contract and taking private papers away. That is an accomplishment worth blathering on about non-stop anyday!.

On behalf of all the people of France, I declare this blogger an ex-friend and quite useless. I demand you, my gentle beautiful readership (all 4 of you in my head and 2 on the internet) do the same or I will cut you off as a friend too!

The predictable one has spoken.

Remember, all you need is love!