Friday, 11 April 2008

The self-important nut-case

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Briefly: Everyone is out to get me. Boo hoo. Mentioning that my enemies include the Chief Commissioner will give you an idea of how important and significant I am.

Mentioning the Master of the Rolls, Chancery Lane, and the central Court will tell you further about the epic importance of ONE of the cases against me. I will wilfully ignore the fact that this case came about as a result of me breaking the confidentiality terms of a contract as well as copying and taking private papers away.

Such insignifigent things like proven facts, evidence and the truth are for commoners anyway. When you are are gorgous and fasinating as I am you do not need to stoop to be bothered with them.

My ability to fail to see the truth of any matter except my own gorgeousness and the jealousy harboured by all around me is only superseded by my inability to follow clear signposts.

Did you know that? Now you do. Girlish giggle. I am so sharing of myself and endlessly fascinating.

My present predicament has come about because of a group comprised of .... police squad, the wicked witch of the North, her cohort, the webbed man, ex-lawyers, doctors, the met, special branch, special trees, special gardeners, the media, men from Oxo-land, women from Loon Loon land, bloggers, poets, the RCJ, the whole of Cambridge, Cambridge snail journalists, gap-year students, all the staff of DKNY, a burren of foxes, Sharon Stone, Clint Eastwood, The Eagles, Manchester United football club and the whole other cast of thousands on the internet who are all out to get me are all lying in a giant conspiracy against me. Despite what any conviction and ASBO say they are all making it up and I am the only one telling the truth.

Did you know that? Now you do. Girlish giggle. I am so sharing of myself and endlessly fascinating.

Be careful out there. If you stalk, lie about, malign, slander, intimidate, harass, bombard and generally make a nuisance of yourself to person after person, they might decide enough is enough and have you thrown in jail too!

Remember, all you need is love!