Showing posts with label LFJ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LFJ. Show all posts

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Bad calculation and worse spitefulness

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)



The tallest woman in the United Kingdom

By her own calculations she is 5"8 or 3.722metres tall

Remember, all you need is love!
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Friday, 4 July 2008

Busy in the internet cafe

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Very busy in the sunshine walking about thinking about how busy I am. Busy Busy Busy. Important. Important. Important. I wasn't able to do this last year as I was staying with the Queen of England for a few months. (Ed. - don't you mean you were incarcerated at HM's pleasure?)

Here's a beauty
I've learned to embed videos from youtube lately - can you tell? They save on so much bother like typing and all that thing. It also hides the fact that unless I am moaning on about my ex-solicitors, police squad, the wicked witch of the North, her cohort, the webbed man, ex-lawyers, doctors, the met, special branch, special trees, special gardeners, the media, men from Oxo-land, women from Loon Loon land, bloggers, poets, the RCJ, the whole of Cambridge, Cambridge snail journalists, gap-year students, all the staff of DKNY, a burren of foxes, Sharon Stone, Clint Eastwood, The Eagles, Manchester United football club and the whole other cast of thousands on the Internet who are all out to get me are all harassing me in a giant conspiracy against me, I really do have very little to say that is substantiated or informed.

Now more blathering on about song lyrics. "I'll Tell Me Ma" is a well known children's song about Jack the Ripper who was a Belfast boy called. Johnny Murray. Hence the lyric "Old Johnny Murray says she'll die". He knew that he was really the love child of the King of England and a prostitute cockle seller and he intended to kill women, lots of them, one day.

I’ll mention Ripperologists here, a body of people who have not written of me or thought about me in ages. I like doing this. HOW,VERY,DARE,THEY. With a bit of luck, it will provoke some attention for my blog.
Remember, all you need is love!


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Monday, 30 June 2008

Considered Pish

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Emily Bronté, who I knows all about because I is bessie mates with her was not a romanticist(what, despite writing Wuthering Heights? - Ed. no 1) she was a looker. (Likkkkeeee MEEEEEEEEEE) In my world people frequent the Moors on a formal social level. Ohhh look an elephant with a tiger's mane. What do you mean ”what Moors"? Keep up!

Wuthering Heights is a study of Engulish psychopathy, I know this as I entered Psychiatry with a degree in Clinical Psychology from a Polytecnic.(sp) oh Yes. I may not be able to spell it and I may not know how to study it but I sure recognise it when it is in front of me.

Here is where I prove my reseeeercher (qualified des. res.) and wrrritting skills; There is a character with the first name Hindley in Wuthering Heights which puts paid to the theories of anyone unnamed who thinks that Emily (my bessie mate) wants anyone to become as Heathcliff. Naturally this means that no-one who wants the 'right to die' can be allowed to do as they are represented by faddy Human Rights lawyers.

As we all know MY humans rights are the only ones which count ... all others are faddy time wasting nonsense.

I have done so much to ignore other people’s human rights (like to be left the HELL alone when asked) there simply cannot be any time for solicitors to defend anyone except me.

Heavans above, if solicitors went about defending all those whose rights I violated, then there would never be anyone free to defend Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Unfortunately I lose bonus points here as I cannot find a reason in this theme for slagging someone off who nominated the Wicket Witch of the North for the “most Wizard woman” prize AND take a dig at someone who is friends with the founders of R&R, the latest in the long catalogue of my betrayers.

Never fear, readers, I'll keep trying!

Now, don't lose me here. I am going to compare the fictional jealous sadist in Wuthering heights with the first name of Hindley who tormented and beat the young Heathcliff with the name of a modern-day incarcerated child-murderer who has the second name of Hindley.

There is a lawyer in Wuthering heights called Lockwood who is the lynchpin of the story being told. So naturally, he is a faddist. All lawyers are you know, from fictional 18th century ones to modern day ones who cannot get convicted stalkers convictions overturned.

****

I have based my most excellent conclusions on the forty filmed and televised versions of WH available on youtube (have I mentioned that I have only recently discovered that wonderful site?) the amount of reseeeeeeeearch material there is startling!

Have I mentioned that not one of the producers of the 40 excerpts seems to have got the full essence of the WH story into the few minutes of clip I was able to view for each one (I wonder if that is because a Producer raises the money to get a film made and the Director and Writer decide on the content? - Ed.) It is so wonderful to have all that time on one's hands to devote to serious reeeeeesearch.

****

I can't find a way to link Stickert to Wuthering Heights so I will make one up based on some faded pictures in a dusty box. Shhhhhhhh.

Remember, all you need is love!


Newspeak:favorite


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Tuesday, 24 June 2008

Staggering..

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Did you know the most accurate account of the crucifixion is to be found on youtube? No, well it is really. Although the Jeebus is all wrong, I know this as we are bessie mates.

Like him, I went through a gigantic mistrial of massive magnitude. Like him, I am a personality known throughout the blogger-planet-sphere-land. Like him, I am someone against whom there was a prolonged campaign of frenzy,hysteria and abuse. Like him, I revelled in a wonderful exposé of panic, cowardice, self justification, labelling and blame passing all round.(Eh??? - Ed. 23465) Like him, corruption was being pushed through. Like him, I experienced an excess of force and brutality, a focus on swift judgement and blame. Nothing about the business was calm and well considered, from the start to when I was picked up from the internet cafe where I was hiding having gone on the run. Naturally, this was just my grossly misunderstood my way of handing myself in.

In fact my experience was an even bigger mistrial than his measly little hiccup over 2000 years ago.

Direct quote: The devil is specifically a politician, he was never a jew.

There was sheer terrorism and violence involved in the entire process. I am hoping to prove it wasn’t me Guv by peppering my blog with half-researched blatherings about religion.

For instance I am sure that Ciaphas the Imperial Commissar of the Imperial Guard in the fictional Warhammer 40,000 universe was a "pragmatic" defender of Jeebus. I have no idea that the correct spelling is Caiaphas and this man never tried to show the enemies of Jeebus that the son of Gawd(who lives in the fictional Heavyvan 50,000 and a 1/2 universe) had the authority he claimed. I also have no notion of the fact that this man, who I think praised Jeebus, was actually the one who paid a part in his death by arresting him, putting him to trial, finding him guilty of blasphemy and turning him over to the Roman Empire.

Don’t worry if you find my account of the last days Jeebus on Earth and all that went before that insifficent(sp) by comparison to what really happened. It is based on my ignorance, lack of reading, gross presumptions, bad spelling and a film trailer.

Like me, there is evidence of their enormous campaign against him throughout his entire time. There is evidence for this even though I have never seen a film about it.

I have spoken; let that be the end of the matter. End of.

I am the word of the Loude. The Special. Immortal. Queen of Blogs and undefeated in ignorance. Banshee. Dunce of Dunces. The harpy of the divine blogging-community. Let all who read me worship me or bog off somewhere else!

Remember, all you need is love!


Newspeak: jew, insifficent, buildup, banalises, Ciaphas (Caiaphas)


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Friday, 20 June 2008

Blessed be this lickle blogger

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

I never make a fuss.

I never ever make a fuss. Did you hear me? I NEVER make a fuss. At all, ever.

I never even talk about how I never ever make a fuss. Did you hear me? I NEVER EVER talk about how I never ever make a fuss. At all, ever.

I never even talk about how I never ever make a fuss especially on the blogs. Did you hear me? I NEVER EVER talk about how I never ever make a fuss especially on the blogs.

N.E.V.E.R. E,V,E,R.

I am going to keep harping on about 'faddists with a personal and political agenda' because I am under the impression that my angry, fruitless, cricket-clacking in the distance is causing any of my accusers to spare a thought for my opinion. The way some of them are carrying on, you would swear they didn't give a hoot about my opinion. However I know different, this is because I am an ace researcher (qualified) and entered Psychiatry with a degree in Clinical Psychology from a Polytecnic.(sp)

Those bail conditions that Mr. Beardy has been given are a slap to someone unspecified's face. 'Not to contact Osama Bin Laden.' I have been told by a court of law not to contact or write about .... Special branch, special trees, special gardeners, police squad, the wicket witch of the North, the webbed man, ex-lawyers, doctors, the met, the mejia, men from Oxo-land, women from Loon Loon land, bloggers, poets, the RCJ, the whole of Cambridge, Cambridge snail journalists, gap-year students, all the staff of DKNY, a burren of foxes, Sharon Stone, Clint Eastwood, The Eagles, Manchester United football club, the cast of the Blair Witch Project and the whole other ensemble of thousands on the Internet who are all out to get me by harassing me as part of the giant conspiracy against me .... but do I obey that? Do I hell! That is why I have the insider knowledge to predict that this Mr. Beardy will not stick to the terms of his release either.

So what if Judges only apply the law of the land? So what if someone wants something changed in the law and the correct way to do it is to gather like-minded supporters, lobby parliament and get the law amended? I have a better way, call for the Judge who makes any decision that one does not like to be kicked off the bench!

I DO have a type of personal agenda the political changes I am calling for. I hate Judges because they always insist on finding me guilty but I refute completely that the personal is ever the political. I am so feminine and complicated ... * sigh *

It is not fair that I got an ASBO for harassment (convicted and upheld) stalking, lying, maligning innocent people, slander, intimidation and being an email and a phone pest and he is merely put under house arrest (for being part of a murderous-bastard organisation - ed.) The message I am trying to get across is that I should not have been jailed or given an ASBO for harassment (convicted and upheld) stalking, lying, maligning innocent people, slander, intimidation and being an email and a phone pest.

A simple 16-year-old was wrapped in explosives vests and stopped by Israeli forces at a West Bank checkpoint. All the Human Rights Groups have ignored this fact. (Except Amnesty International -Ed.) All right, except Amnesty International, all the Human Rights Groups have ignored this. (Except Save the Children - Ed. no. 2) All right, except Amnesty International and save the Children, all the Human Rights Groups have ignored this.

Of course what I really want to do is belittle the London based Human Rights lawyer who nominated the Wicker Witch of the North for the “most Wizard woman” prize AND take a dig at someone who is friends with the founders of R&R, the latest in the long catalogue of my betrayers.

Who cares if she has no experience in this area and no published speciality in Children's law? Who cares if there are people with more experience in this matter speaking out instead? She did not speak out on this issue and that is the point.

Speaking out on a subject I have no experience in or context of has never stopped me!

In reality, I think using unfortunate children to make your point is an excellent and effective idea. Hell, I wrote a blog post on that basis but remember, the personal is never the political. E,V,E,R.

Remember, all you need is love!


Newspeak:


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THE STREAMSOFUTTERGOO 2008 SOCKPUPPET AWARDS

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Here they are in order of usernames:

The stalkerlicious researcher comes in at first place with fjlfan, notafan, pathetic, goodgrief, notafanofyours, amused, disgusting, dull, reader, wackos, donkeys, fjlcommenter, otherfjlfan and you stupid ass. (14)

The "Naomi Wolf" "Electra On Azalea Path", "Pedants Anonymous", "AWD", "Another Woman's Daughter", "whoever", "Portia", "Lilly Pution", "MLN" and "GWB" comes in at second place. (10)

'Lemming of Legal (form. Legal)' and 'Legal Lemming' are the one and the same but I think haloscan cuts off their new username where they pretty much say as much. (2)

and that is all the commentators that use multiple alias'.

Thank you to everyone who entered, congratulations to the Winner. You only get to be sockpuppeting Queen with energy, drive, determination and loads of time on your hands.

Allove

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Still more daft-isms

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Everything that the Wicket witch of the North says is a reference to me, relates to me, is a dig at me or all three combined. Even though she does not mention my name nor acknowledge my pathetic existence at all in her blog.

Why won’t she write about me directly?? I am going to pull apart a statement of hers. Perhaps it will get me the reaction I so desperately want. That is all I want. I want to know she is paying attention. I want to know she is talking about MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I am going to say that right terrors should be detained for 42 days. Not that anyone gives a delicately smelling bottom dropping what I think.

I am incapable of applying the lessons of mistakes made in the past to the justice system nowadays. Hell, I cannot even stop stalking after serving time for that very thing. I just wanted to talk you know. Usually at three in the morning from a phone box near my house but I just wanted to reach out to another person. That is what stalking is, it is just a need to communicate which should be repeated as often as possible. Sooner or later the stalked person will accept your intellerigearnt words of wisdom and agree to bow down before your feminine form and throw rosewater before your footfall. Then everyone is happy.

I DO have a type of personal agenda in what I'm saying. I want her to be talking about MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE not silly faddish civil rights, a subject I am only too happy to demonstrate my staggering ignorance on.

Did you know the Special branch, special trees and special gardeners are all out to get me? It is because they are in a giant conspiracy with police squad, the wicked witch of the North, her cohort, the webbed man, ex-lawyers, doctors, the met, the mejia, men from Oxo-land, women from Loon Loon land, bloggers, poets, the RCJ, the whole of Cambridge, Cambridge snail journalists, gap-year students, all the staff of DKNY, a burren of foxes, Sharon Stone, Clint Eastwood, The Eagles, Manchester United football club, the cast of the Blair Witch Project and the whole other ensemble of thousands on the Internet who are all out to get me are all harassing me in a giant conspiracy against me. Despite what the (upheld) conviction and ASBO say they are all making it up and I am the only one telling the truth.

I worked at the Special Branch once. I never received a pay packet from them, mind you, but I worked there as a fab ace brilliant inspired researcher. They let me through their front doors (there is a mistake they will never repeat!) so that counts as being employed by them. I also get to pronounce to everyone the official Special Branch line on everything. If people I pronounce to do not believe me or let me lead their special gang, then I reserve the right to stalk and harass the bejabbers out of them. I think the Special Branch would approve. I know how they think, you know.

I am also spitting with jealousy that the special branch revealed a secret to the Wicked Witch of the North and she blogged about it recently. They are my special friends NOT YOURS. I am the only one who knows their secrets NOT YOU.

On the bright side, I now know Guantanamo is a bay and not an Island as I pronounced upon before. There was a desert storm which re-attached it to the mainland. That was what happened. I have spoken; let that be the definitive word on the matter. End of.

My support of indefinite incarceration is going to be the catalyst to bring a lot of people together. Just like everything else I do brings a lot of people together. Every time I am accused of harassment (convicted and upheld) stalking, lying, maligning innocent people, slander, intimidation and being an email and a phone pest it tends to make people turn firmly from me and to each other. People are so picky.

The 7/7 research and investigation involved nothing I know anything about. I am furious about this. Completely raging. I have been pushed to the outside because I am a harasser (convicted and upheld) a stalker, a liar, a maligner of innocent people, a slanderer, an intimidator and an email and a phone pest and it is all the fault of the people who accused me of this sort of behaviour. There was also the small matter of theft from the National Archives that I don’t tend to talk about too much. * Girlish giggle *

I am so glad to point out that there is a human rights solicitor being given negative press. My humans rights are the only ones which count ... all others are faddy time wasting nonsense.

I have done so much to ignore other people’s human rights (like to be left the HELL alone when asked) there simply cannot be any time for solicitors to defend anyone except me. If solicitors went about defending all those whose rights I violated, then there would never be anyone free to defend Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
I also give myself bonus points for slagging someone off who nominated the Wicket Witch of the North for the “most Wizard woman” prize AND (this is the best one) take a dig at someone who is friends with the founders of R&R, the latest in the long catalogue of my betrayers.

MY Human Rights ( not faddy) and personal and political agendas ( faddy) don't mix. I simply do not get people who stand up for a group of people or a cause. They is way outside my small narrow selfish little sphere of existence. Bob Geldof? What a faddy time wasting piece of nonsense he is. Imagine wanting to feed the world. My achievement of stalking the world is a much worthier accomplishment.

I have spoken; let that be the end of the matter. End of.


Remember, all you need is love!


Newspeak: perhpas


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Monday, 9 June 2008

No one should have their human rights defended except me

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)
My humans rights are the only ones which count ... all others are faddy time wasting nonsense

I have done so much to ignore other people’s human rights (like to be left the HELL alone when asked) there simply cannot be any time for solicitors to defend anyone except me. If solicitors went about defending all those whose rights I violated, then there would never be anyone free to defend Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

If you don't want to be arrested outside the Houses of Parliament, don't fling rotten eggs? I would have thought it was a fairly simple historic question. (except it is not a question – Ed. No.1) I simply do not get people who stand up for a group of people or a cause. They is way outside my small narrow selfish little sphere of existence. Bob Geldof? What a faddy time wasting piece of nonsense he is. Imagine wanting to feed the world. My achievement of stalking the world is a much worthier accomplishment.

No Human Rights solicitor should ever defend the human rights of anyone except me. End of. I have spoken; let that be the end of the matter.

“ self promoting faddism” “Hickman and Rose.” “.Sometimes people won't see wood for trees“GUESS WHO I HAVE FALLEN OUT WITH????? Answers in an email please (but not ones like the abusive ones I used to send)

I’ll put my solicitors name and company in this post in the hope that * certain * people will email him and he will be able to see for himself that police squad, the wicked witch of the North, her cohort, the webbed man, ex-lawyers, doctors, the met, special branch, special trees, special gardeners, the media, men from Oxo-land, women from Loon Loon land, bloggers, poets, the RCJ, the whole of Cambridge, Cambridge snail journalists, gap-year students, all the staff of DKNY, a burren of foxes, Sharon Stone, Clint Eastwood, The Eagles, Manchester United football club and the whole other cast of thousands on the internet who are all out to get me are all harassing me in a giant conspiracy against me. Despite what the (upheld) conviction and ASBO say they are all making it up and I am the only one telling the truth.

I am going to have a dig at the wicked witch of the North here by saying that she runs around like Chicken Little getting things wrong. Perhaps it will get me a reaction. That is all I want. A reaction, someone paying attention. WHY ARE ALL THE BLOGGERS IGNORING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?

I never read her blog or mention anything on it you know!


Remember, all you need is love!

Newspeak: who's rights, tarrif, persuing, serveyed

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Friday, 6 June 2008

PTS and defendants

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

I DID THE CRIME BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THE TIME
I DID THE CRIME BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THE TIME
I DID THE CRIME BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THE TIME
I DID THE CRIME BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THE TIME
I DID THE CRIME BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THE TIME

...... so I shall talk about a woman who died in prison who was on remand at the time so it was an entirely different scenario than the one I embroiled myself in.

I shall talk about this dead girl's Mother who was a human rights campaigner that my gorgeous hunky lovely intimate close sandwich-providing friend who is a solicitor represented for free. ( General comment with no directed reference to anyone.)

"Did you know that defendants in court are probably experiencing interrupted sleep, insommnia, difficulties concentrating for lengthy periods, vivid and startling dreams, loss of appetite and other genuine forms of disorientation" It is called GUILT. The trick is never to admit to it. I love swimming in big Egyptian ponds, me.

I never comment on the site of those who mock me ..... using my real name that is!

The handsome sandwich-provider did not represent me for free. Mind you, I am not a human rights campaigner. I have no human interest at heart except my own self-preservation at the expense of the time and money of others. I am an internaliser wot entered Psychiatry with a degree in Clinical Psychology from a Polytechnic. That is how I know big medical words like that which mean very little apart from I think everyone should look at ME, everyone should admire ME, everyone should defer to ME and no woman should be more young/pretty/talented/published or clever than MEEEEEEEEEE. ( General comment with no directed reference to anyone.)

Perhaps one day I shall get the Nobel peace prize for stalking. Now, there is something to aspire to. Perhaps by then my gorgeous hunky lovely intimate close friend who is a solicitor will represent me for free then. ( General comment with no directed reference to anyone.)

"solicitors' "fanciful snootiness and parlance" "no empathy" "a farce" "a gossip" "arrogance" "condescension" "idealistic waffle" "backward Justice System"
GUESS WHO I HAVE FALLEN OUT WITH????? Answers in an email please (but not ones like the abusive ones I used to send)


Remember, all you need is love!


New spell: maneuvering, internaliser, insommnia, cemetary, scapegoated, 'summings up',
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Thursday, 22 May 2008

How to make sickly poor grade chocolate muffins

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Please only use quality ingredients or everyone will doubt your integrity as a cook!

50g (2oz) Dark broken-up brooding and malice
75g (3oz) Cowardice
1 tbsp BS (just enough to give the clear fragrant smell)
200g (8oz) Self-raising praise
Half tbsp God-bothering
75g (3oz) Sickly sweet insincere sugar (which quickly turns)
50g (2oz) Paranoia
1 Rotten egg
142ml Soured cream
142ml Bitter orange

(Reader suggestion by Slappy McSquirrel)
A bushel of sour grapes

(Optional)
A little sprig of honesty
A little hint of introspection
A pinch of reality

Icing
100g (4oz) Stalking
500g (20oz) Harassment
(with very little decent blogging to bind them)

Method
Bring all together in a suitable container
(Although finding one of these may be a bit of a trial)

Do not over-doo doo the BS, it puts people off.
(And it a bit of a transparent excuse for poor muffins)

If you don't want your cooking to be a repeat of cooking past, please add all the optional ingredients.

Remember all good cooks stay with their cooking to the end!

eh voila! Let them eat cake:

Remember, all you need is love!


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Friday, 16 May 2008

I NEVER EVER talk about Special Branch ... E,V,E,R


You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)



Remember, all you need is love!


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Thursday, 15 May 2008

Why must you be an ASBO breaker .....

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Leave me to talk about things

..... I might actually write something showing rare intelligence, insight and sympathy about the shocking things that went on in Nazi concentration camps.

However I shall ruin it in the next paragraph by referring to my false accuser and call her a fascist. What, did you think I was going to turn into a moving, logical and considerate writer ? Hah! That will be the day!

I never talk about my false accuser. Did you hear me? I NEVER talk about her. At all, ever.

I never even talk about how little I talk about her. Did you hear me? I NEVER EVER talk about her or talk about how little I talk about her. At all, ever.

I never take anything she has written about and make a post out of it. Did you hear me I NEVER EVER talk about her or talk about how little I talk about her or read what she writes. At all, ever.

I never ever take a pop at anyone she links to either. Did you hear me I NEVER EVER talk about her or talk about how little I talk about her or read what she writes or take a pop at her friends in the Bloggospheresville. At all, ever.

I worked at the Special Branch once. I never received a pay packet from them, mind you, but I worked there as a fab ace brilliant inspired researcher. They let me through their front doors (there is a mistake they will never repeat!) so that counts as being employed by them. I also get to pronounce to everyone the official Special Branch line on everything. If they do not believe me or let me lead their special gang, then I reserve the right to stalk and harass the bejabbers out of them. I think the Special Branch would approve. I know how they think, you know.

I wish everyone would stop writing about WW2 as I am clearly the only one who knows anything about it. Just like I want to be the Oracle for what the Special Branch are thinking, I should be the beginning and end of all research about what went on before I was born.

No-one should write about anything that went on unless they were actually there. No-one except me, that is, and I should be regarded as the fount of all knowledge about everything.

Have I mentioned I have no appreciation for irony whatsoever?

Remember, all you need is love!


Newspeak: tendancies, chunterers “their must be something wrong”


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Tuesday, 13 May 2008

An old bag gast'...

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)
I never talk about my false accuser. Did you hear me? I NEVER talk about her. At all, ever.

I never even talk about how little I talk about her. Did you hear me? I NEVER EVER talk about her. At all, ever.

*****

Here is me blathering on about a case I read about in the newspaper and because I once was allowed into the national archives (there is a mistake they will never repeat!) I know all about the truth of crimes just by reading about them in papers, it is a gift I have.

I can even open a box of papers faded and torn with age and construct a social history of Lonnon, erm…. Lundon…erm Londonenn…..er.. this city, out of them.
I am ace fab private detective me. Did I mention I went into Psychiatry with a degree in Clinical Psychology from a Polytecnic (sp)? Cos I did!

Did I mention how much I hate young, fit, pretty girls with all of their lives before them? I especially hate those who have book deals. You know what I think of those with profitable book deals AND good looks.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHH!

I am also an expert on the Australian police and media psyche now after reading about the country in a Travel Agent’s window. Unfortunately Going Places don’t let you try before you buy so I have to write this analysis going on what I read on a big pink and yellow poster.

Without any irony whatsoever, I think that all women who commit crimes should be charged with their crimes whether their names are Tracy or Joanne.
Or T-R-A-C-E-Y, as it is actually spelled. But as I have always said, spelling is for plebs and English teachers.

Also, without any evidence whatsoever, I have guessed-solved the mystery of what happened in the Australian desert that night. I think she has not got handcuffs on because no-one could get their hands over their head (wasn't it under her bum, that she claimed - Ed. no1) I am too old and fat to raise my arms over my head as this girl has claimed to do. Therefore no-one could do it, least of all a young, fit, pretty girl. Oh and then again, if she did have them on, her boyfriend did it. There you go, mystery solved.

If I had a boyfriend, I would not murder them in this way, oh no. Especially as most of them do not seem over-keen on getting into cars with me after we have had a few dates. Strange that.

It is so unfair that good-looking women always get away with their crimes especially (and this is the sooooo unfair bit) there is no evidence to convict them whatsoever.

Must go to the £1 shop for some make-up. Have a big appointment in a few days and I want to be good-looking for it.



Remember, all you need is love!


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Wednesday, 7 May 2008

This old twaddle

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

There will be a lot of questions about, this post. I know this as I will write them all. The only non-sockpuppet questions that appear, I shall miss the point of or ignore completely instead.

I am well-qualified to review this high-flouting book on “Jeebus gets into a scrape” as I have seen the cover and it look good. Innit.

Did I mention this book looks sensible? Unfortunately WhSmith don’t let you try before you buy so I have to write this analysis going on what I read on the back cover.

Here are all the areas of the book I can relate to, based on the colour of the cover alone.

Next will follow a load of twaddle, feel free to skip over it as it is only my own inane ramblings borne out of the anger and resentment I feel towards Churches and ministries who have not agreed with every word out of MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Have I mentioned that every Church I find is super for a while but then once they get to know me and I ask them to back me in all I say and do......., well, let’s just say there is a parting of the ways.

Now more toe-curling ramblings about Jeebus and how having money is a bad thing. You need money to run a home and pay bills you know but I have freed myself from all earthly responsibilities such as those. Working for a living? I shudder at such commonness!

It is a pity I cannot bag my words you know, there is great money in compost.

Once there was someone who prayed to God, I would leave them the fuck alone and stop harassing them. Their prayers came to pass and mine did not.

Before you want something, consult with God. I have recently and guess what is coming to me? I bet it comes this very Month as well. I shall be getting all I deserve.

I am pure big on Jeebus and Churches, religion is like a supermarket to me, follow a bit there, leave that bit on the shelf there. Ignore the “love thy neighbour” bit.
However, being a convicted stalker, a liar, a maligner of innocent people, a slanderer, an intimidator, a harasser, an email and phone pest tends to put churches off. Churches are so picky!

Everyone is entitled to learn from his or her mistakes just as I am entitled to never admit to mine.

Newspeak: attenders, fulfil, Gospe'l

PS THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END IN 100 YEARS! I went into Psychiatry with a degree in Clinical Psychology from a Polytecnic so I know all about these things!



Remember, all you need is love!


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Sunday, 4 May 2008

Lightning tithe

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)


Now I am courting the Christians for support. Soon I shall be asking them to join in speaking up against the conspiracy against me. They love a good martyr do the Christians. Not long after that I shall be denouncing them as being in league with the devil, after all, their belief system only stretches to believing a terrestrial being made the Earth in 7 days, it would not stretch to believing moi to be as innocent as I paint myself.

In the meantime, I agree with EVERYTHING they say.

I am currently shopping around for a new church as the old one has taken to ringing me on Sunday mornings and telling me they have a surplus of believers booked in for that week.

Every Church I find is super for a while but then once they get to know me and I ask them to back me in all I say and do......., well, let’s just say there is a parting of the ways.

I hate people who pretend that they have a direct channel to the Lord Jeebus when everyone who is anyone knows I am the only one who has. After all, we both spent time at HM’s pleasure and what could create a stronger association that THAT? I hate people even more who have views contrary to mine, therefore I hate Kenneth Moore. Star-gazing wannabee that he is, he NEVER looks at or acknowledges MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Beware of false profits!

Especially those who have book deals. You know what I think of those with profitable book deals AND opinions contrary to mine.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHH!

I have spoken, let that be the end of the matter.

Someone dared asked me to contribute to the basket being passed around in the only Church in London who had not had a warning fax with my details sent to them yet. How DARE they ask for donations??!!

If I had wanted to give donations to Church or State, I would have given up stalking, got a proper job and kept up with my bill payments. Tsk

Here I will just put a load of ill-phrased, contradictory, un-backed-up by reference or fact load of twaddle referring to the Church of England.

I might join them next week. After I have worked my way through my associations with the Catholics and the Baptists.

Although I am not in favour of donations, I am in favour of tithes. I should have really taken up the time to research the fact that a tithe is a form of Church tax and was the cause of the reformation where followers of the Churches caused a split by refusing to pay an obligatory Church tax levied on them. The name of this tax? A tithe. The purpose of a tithe? To pay the running costs of a church.

Speaking of tithe, wonder if there is anywhere open sellling gorgalicios cider (burrrrppppp)

I am such an ignoramus * girlish giggle *

Now some derogatory statements against the site, I told people to go and look at the beginning of this post.

I am consistently inconsistent and you godda love me for that.

I am trying to retain religious independence by reading the bible. The irony and general hysterical ness of this should be apparent to my detractors.


I would be interested in the opinions of people who only agree with MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Remember, all you need is love!


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Sunday, 27 April 2008

A mark in the sand

One night I dreamed I was stalking along the internet with the Broad(band).
Many scenes from my harassing flashed across the charges sheet.
in each scene I noticed things got out of hand.
Sometimes there were two sets of victims,
other times there were up to nine sets of victims.

It bothered me when I noticed
that during the low periods of my harassing,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could not see one set of victims.

So I said to the Broad(band),
"You promised me Broad(band),
that if I subscribed to you,
you would connect me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my harassing
there have been no
set of victims. Things got out of hand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been connected for me?"

The Broad(band) replied,
"The times when you have
seen no set of victims is just after things got out of hand,
that is when I helped convict you."


Remember, all you need is love!



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Now the cast of the Blairwitchproject are out to get me!

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

The Blairwithchproject blog, who have the audacity to get more reads than me, really pee me off! They are all aggressive Harry Enfield fans by their own admission. Now, worst sin of all, they DARE have an opinion on something which I am frighteningly ignorant about. The Wicked witch of the North also agrees with them on this subject so that just proves they are wrong.

AAAAAARGHHHHHH!!!!

What business is it of The Blairwithchproject blog if some nice man wants to go about denying the mass murder of millions of people?

Gah, I'll even bet The Blairwithchproject blog are the sort of social conscience busybodies who demand that stalkers, libellers, those who intimidate people, those who harass people, those who have been bombarding people with phone calls and emails are actually jailed for their behavior.

No-one should speak up to say the holocaust really happened except those who were there.

I have spoken, let that be the end of the matter.

You little people are so lucky to have me to tell you the right path to take in making decisions on issues such as rape, good parenting and the holocaust.

We celebrity Mums must stick together you know. ** Girlish wink ** I know ALL the good celeb Mums read here, like the Sims2 mother who laughs at her neglected children, Betty Davis, Kerry Katona, Frances Shand Kydd, Debbie Renyolds, Rose West, Enid Blyton, Britney Spears and Joan Crawford. They have to in order to know how to handle their erring offspring within the guidance of the high unorthodox church of LFJ.

I am the high-priestess of the cult of Perfect Mummyhood.

If Miss Oddbin's Mother should read here, my advice to you is to deny the holocaust, never educate your children about the evil that men and women can do. Never teach them that those who know the mistakes of the past are doomed to repeat them.

Let them think they can march like Hitler into the colds of the Russian Winter and succeed in their determination to impose their own will on all before them without recompense. There was a man who didn't pay attention in his history class. Perhaps if he had and perhaps if the allies had stood up to him when he ignored the Treaty of Locarno and marched into the Rhine towns of the post WW1 neutral zone, there would have been no second world war.

But I diverse, all this drawing parallels between enforcing ignorance on children and accepting inhumanity without comment have made me thirsty for some gorgalicious cider
(burrrrpppp)

Next thing I know you will all be drawing parallels between Hitler and me but I am much more a Ivana Braun fame fat-tale type character, donchyaknow? (burrrppppp)


Ivana Braun


New speak: self awareness, socalled

Remember, all you need is love!

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Wednesday, 16 April 2008

LFJ, you are writing from IP 87.74.46.41

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Note from ED. no. 1:

In the comments of the last post, the stalker-licious one challenged us to say she was writing from 87.74.46.41 so we have gone one step further and grapped a screenshot of the web-application that the IP of all comments on streamsofuttergoo are monitored from.



Obviously she has no idea what an IP is. For anyone else who doesn't know, your IP is your finger-print on the internet. Wherever you go, you leave it behind you. It makes it very easy to prove where you have been. Like a burgular who commits a robbery without gloves, it is very easy to put a trace to a name once you know how.

As well as an IPs, we also monitor referrals (the link and webpage a reader accesses this site via) This is how we know she uses this IP. The first time she accessed this site was while she was logged into blogger and she came from the IP address 87.74.46.41.

Since then EVERY comment supporting her, saying how good-looking/talented/gifted she is and how crap/jealous/bitter we are has come from this IP except one.

There is no-one publicly supporting her here except herself and even then she only refers to herself in the third person.

It appears that even she is ashamed to admit who she is.

Well LFJ, you wanted us to say your last comment came from that IP, now we have.

This is how often she reads the site:


It has to be said, there are more profitable uses of a person's time.

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Welty head

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

It has taken a whole family of Greek hairdressers to hold me down on the floor but the knots have finally been combed or cut out of my hair.

The state of the barnet was so bad I had to drug myself up with bueatiful cider (belch!) before the ordeal. I was a bit dopey while it was all going on to be honest.

Now I cannot be sure if the hangover or the brassy colour of the results are worse.

I look like one of the stars of 'You've got mail'. What was her name? Oh yes! Brinkley!!



Must dash as I am going to sockpuppet myself to bits with request for a new photo of my shaggy locks.

Remember, all you need is love!


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Monday, 14 April 2008

Pickaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

The most important thing to happen in the whole of the world is that two soap characters appeared back on the small screen.

I would like a man like the male character to put up with all my imperfections. However being a convicted stalker, a liar, maligning people , slandering people, intimidating people, harassing people, bombarding people with phone calls and emails generally tends to put men off. Men are so picky!

I wonder if a new hairstyle would get me a man?

Remember, all you need is love!

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