How to make sickly poor grade chocolate muffins

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Please only use quality ingredients or everyone will doubt your integrity as a cook!

50g (2oz) Dark broken-up brooding and malice
75g (3oz) Cowardice
1 tbsp BS (just enough to give the clear fragrant smell)
200g (8oz) Self-raising praise
Half tbsp God-bothering
75g (3oz) Sickly sweet insincere sugar (which quickly turns)
50g (2oz) Paranoia
1 Rotten egg
142ml Soured cream
142ml Bitter orange

(Reader suggestion by Slappy McSquirrel)
A bushel of sour grapes

(Optional)
A little sprig of honesty
A little hint of introspection
A pinch of reality

Icing
100g (4oz) Stalking
500g (20oz) Harassment
(with very little decent blogging to bind them)

Method
Bring all together in a suitable container
(Although finding one of these may be a bit of a trial)

Do not over-doo doo the BS, it puts people off.
(And it a bit of a transparent excuse for poor muffins)

If you don't want your cooking to be a repeat of cooking past, please add all the optional ingredients.

Remember all good cooks stay with their cooking to the end!

eh voila! Let them eat cake:

Remember, all you need is love!


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A mark in the sand

One night I dreamed I was stalking along the internet with the Broad(band).
Many scenes from my harassing flashed across the charges sheet.
in each scene I noticed things got out of hand.
Sometimes there were two sets of victims,
other times there were up to nine sets of victims.

It bothered me when I noticed
that during the low periods of my harassing,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could not see one set of victims.

So I said to the Broad(band),
"You promised me Broad(band),
that if I subscribed to you,
you would connect me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my harassing
there have been no
set of victims. Things got out of hand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been connected for me?"

The Broad(band) replied,
"The times when you have
seen no set of victims is just after things got out of hand,
that is when I helped convict you."


Remember, all you need is love!



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Now the cast of the Blairwitchproject are out to get me!

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

The Blairwithchproject blog, who have the audacity to get more reads than me, really pee me off! They are all aggressive Harry Enfield fans by their own admission. Now, worst sin of all, they DARE have an opinion on something which I am frighteningly ignorant about. The Wicked witch of the North also agrees with them on this subject so that just proves they are wrong.

AAAAAARGHHHHHH!!!!

What business is it of The Blairwithchproject blog if some nice man wants to go about denying the mass murder of millions of people?

Gah, I'll even bet The Blairwithchproject blog are the sort of social conscience busybodies who demand that stalkers, libellers, those who intimidate people, those who harass people, those who have been bombarding people with phone calls and emails are actually jailed for their behavior.

No-one should speak up to say the holocaust really happened except those who were there.

I have spoken, let that be the end of the matter.

You little people are so lucky to have me to tell you the right path to take in making decisions on issues such as rape, good parenting and the holocaust.

We celebrity Mums must stick together you know. ** Girlish wink ** I know ALL the good celeb Mums read here, like the Sims2 mother who laughs at her neglected children, Betty Davis, Kerry Katona, Frances Shand Kydd, Debbie Renyolds, Rose West, Enid Blyton, Britney Spears and Joan Crawford. They have to in order to know how to handle their erring offspring within the guidance of the high unorthodox church of LFJ.

I am the high-priestess of the cult of Perfect Mummyhood.

If Miss Oddbin's Mother should read here, my advice to you is to deny the holocaust, never educate your children about the evil that men and women can do. Never teach them that those who know the mistakes of the past are doomed to repeat them.

Let them think they can march like Hitler into the colds of the Russian Winter and succeed in their determination to impose their own will on all before them without recompense. There was a man who didn't pay attention in his history class. Perhaps if he had and perhaps if the allies had stood up to him when he ignored the Treaty of Locarno and marched into the Rhine towns of the post WW1 neutral zone, there would have been no second world war.

But I diverse, all this drawing parallels between enforcing ignorance on children and accepting inhumanity without comment have made me thirsty for some gorgalicious cider
(burrrrpppp)

Next thing I know you will all be drawing parallels between Hitler and me but I am much more a Ivana Braun fame fat-tale type character, donchyaknow? (burrrppppp)

Ivana Braun

New speak: self awareness, socalled

Remember, all you need is love!

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LFJ, you are writing from IP 87.74.46.41

You've read what she said now here is what she really means: (Free translation service provided by All_you_need_is_love)

Note from ED. no. 1:

In the comments of the last post, the stalker-licious one challenged us to say she was writing from 87.74.46.41 so we have gone one step further and grapped a screenshot of the web-application that the IP of all comments on streamsofuttergoo are monitored from.



Obviously she has no idea what an IP is. For anyone else who doesn't know, your IP is your finger-print on the internet. Wherever you go, you leave it behind you. It makes it very easy to prove where you have been. Like a burgular who commits a robbery without gloves, it is very easy to put a trace to a name once you know how.

As well as an IPs, we also monitor referrals (the link and webpage a reader accesses this site via) This is how we know she uses this IP. The first time she accessed this site was while she was logged into blogger and she came from the IP address 87.74.46.41.

Since then EVERY comment supporting her, saying how good-looking/talented/gifted she is and how crap/jealous/bitter we are has come from this IP except one.

There is no-one publicly supporting her here except herself and even then she only refers to herself in the third person.

It appears that even she is ashamed to admit who she is.

Well LFJ, you wanted us to say your last comment came from that IP, now we have.

This is how often she reads the site:


It has to be said, there are more profitable uses of a person's time.

I'm all clean after being through a spin cycle

Guest post by Pied Puffin

The LFJ spin cycle - a guide to the life pattern of the lesser spotted LFJ for those entering psychology with a degree in clinical psychology from a Polytecnic.







1. The exhault - News shared that LFJ is in great and and R&R are starts. Mention of God/Jesus, flowers, kittens and sunshine. Thanks huge crowd of supporters for their ongoing devotion and prayers. Picture of something cute like a puppy.

2. The Fury - Furious steam-edged, moulted in hellfire rant about her detractors, with frenzied editing and re-editing.

3. The arty-farty - Rambling disjointed illogical post about art, an
uninterpatible reference to a children's story and something she saw on the TV which reminds her of how devine, clever and pretty she is. Everyone who does not agree with this assessment is jealous (obviously)

4. The threatning - Dire threats issued regarding how her lawyers will see the mob of lawyers, doctors, the met, special branch, special trees, special gardeners, the media, men from Oxo-land, women from Loon Loon land, bloggers, poets, the RCJ, the whole of Cambridge, journalists, gap-year students, all the staff of DKNY, a burren of foxes, Sharon Stone, Clint Eastwood and The Eagles and a whole other cast of thousands on the internet who are all out to get her in court. Several ASBO -busting ramblings and (in)direct snipes at targets. Comment and sock-puppet marathon ensue.

5. The boasting - Boast about the wonderful (unpublished, unreviewed, unaccredited) research and how everyone who sees it will bow down before her when it is published to world acclaim. Mention of support from famous actors, famous writers, aristocrats and rich artists.

6. The repeat - Repeats step 4.

7. The woefullness - Self-pitying post, frequently updated about how she has become tremendously ill and cannot leave her bed / walk / talk etc. Does not seem to stop her blogging though. Symptoms are always mysterios and undiagnosible but almost
nearly involve exhaustion.

8. The self-admiration. Post telling people how she never complains about being sick. Inevitably followed by sock-puppet comments on how wonderful/dignified/strong/etc. she is.

9. The resserection - Following non-appearance at latest hearing, sudden dramatic recovery into perfect health within hours which would put the rising of Lazarus to shame regarding miraculousness.

10. The condensation - Gracious thanking of invisible supporters and legions of friends who have tenderly nursed her and sent countless supportive messages. Noting of how special she must be in God's eyes.

repeats pattern until everyone sick

Remember, all you need is love!



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