Matha-mical proof Malicity is wrong

An uncelebrated non-entity unpaid (but working) “stalking consultant” has written a hate-blog in which she offers "mathematical" non-proof that talent – and related fame – are undeserved by anyone who is younger, prettier, more intelligent, more hard working and have more book deals than her.
However, the bogo-scientific gloss and hours of sock-puppeting applied to the resulting theories are so fragile as to shatter at a glance.

The eponymous equation is outlined:
T+F(W) = B+P(1/10T+1/2T(F)2

Where:
F is the level of fame

T is the level of talent

W is time, measured in 12 Weekly intervals. So W=1 is after three months, W=2 is after six months, etc. Fame is at its peak when W=0. (Putting W=0 into the equation gives an infinite fame peak, not mathematically accurate, perhaps, but the concept of the level of fame being off the radar is apposite.);
B is a base level of fame that we identified and quantified by analysing the average level of fame in the year before peak. For a really talented fabulous person, B would be a large number, but for a convicted stalker nobody, or aBig Brother contestant, B is zero.

P is the increment of fame above the base level, that establishes the individual firmly at the front of public consciousness.

This formula fits the data remarkably well, giving a precise numerical value to the 15-month theory: if I put in W=5 (corresponding to 15 months after the peak), it gives F=B+P(1/50+1/50), which works out at F=B+.04P. In other words, up to 96% of the fame-boost achieved at the peak of public attention has been frittered away...

All good? Excellent!

According to this stupid non-entity hate filled blogger called Malicity, Plain (and) Loud: (T)ft = b + p((1/10w) + (1/2w2))

If words and numbers have any meaning at all, her formula is plainly rubbish. At T x W = 0, f is infinite, rendering the whole idea of b self-contradictory. Talent only ever equals "base level" plus "increment of talent multiplied by fame above base level" at W = approximately 0.8, around nine weeks after the event in question – new book being published etc.

And worse. At W = infinity, (T)f = b, still "a large number". Hundreds or thousands of millennia from now when today's civilisation, the human race, even the Earth itself are all dust and no fame will remain. Least of all of course any fame which only exists in the minds of stalking deadbeats regarding their own self-importance.

So the hate-bloggers rationale, sock-puppeting, wasting her life doesn't work in the short term, and it won't work in the longer term either. The woman plainly knows a lot about stalking, but she - and her anonymous "select group of willing mathematically minded researchers" - are mathematical and historical illiterates.

“I am proving there is a scam going on. It is not like I am scamming anyone myself ” says Lewd, describing her profession.

That seems fair. The stalkers of the world would seem to have quite a hill to climb before they appear as respectable and worthy of attention as scammers.

And in the meantime, she is fooling no-one……


Remember, all you need is love!

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Alternative careers for hate-bloggers and stalkers (A comments poll)

Hate-blogging and stalking are okay for a few years but one can hardly make a long term career out of them especially with the credit crunch in full swing. Newspaper editors are just not willing to make spaces on their papers for talentless obsessive criminals (conviction upheld) the way they once were.

Sooner or later one (FJL) must look around, realise she has no friends, no family willing to talk to her, no house, no money and conclude it is time to leave the internet cafe, walk out into the sunshine, blink, roll one's sleeves up and forge a determination to get a job. At this point, one might have to go back into the internet cafe to access the online job sites.

But what career to follow for FJL? Well obviously the professions that call for empathy, compassion, intelligence, a good standard of written english and mental wellness are all out.

So what does that leave us with? What career could a lying, stalking, mean, hate-ful, spiteful, manipulative, aging, bitter and twisted woman do with minimum damage to herself and all those around her?

Then it struck us - she could be a professional useless evil henchman in American movies. Think about it - she would be "over there" and one more loon is not going to rattle the water in that pond. She has a liking for the word henchmen lately and the acting bit could let her project, project, project as she is so wont to do. As for the other qualifications needed for the job:

1) Acting. - well she can't lie her way out of a paper bag but it's American cinema not 'The English Patient' so check.

2)Useless. Check.

3)Evil. Check.

4)Henchman. Well she is useless doing her own dirty work so she might as well do it for someone else and see how she fares. So check.
5) The film industry as a career for an ex stalker and hate-blogger. She has a liking for the word henchmen lately and the acting bit could let her project, project, project as she is so wont to do. So check there.


She can have hours of fun reading and re-reading every review left on Amazon of her films and complaining viciously when they are not a five star. This sort of fantastic career advice has never happened before in the history of English Internet. She can intimidate happily the whole of the Internet and no one will care a bit about the mad henchman actress determined to carry her role into real life. The comments box attached to this post is reserved for actual opinions on which henchman she should be.


Henchman no.1 - MustHavaASBo



Henchman no.2 - CowPlastered


Henchman no.3 - MiniMoo


Remember, all you need is love!


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